It is hard to believe that it has been more than a month since I have written here!  The past month has seemed to speed by and crawl along all at the same time! We continue to grieve over the loss of Susanna, yet we are finding more and more peace and daily are choosing to put our focus on getting Will home!

Today we had our biometric fingerprinting done and that means that all we are waiting on now is approval from US immigration and then our dossier goes to Will's government to await our official referral. Right now his country's government is experiencing some major unrest and upheaval and it has seriously stalled many families in their adoption process. We pray that peace and stability will come and that these sweet children will start getting home!

We have received requests to provide a tax deductible donation option for our fundraising. Tax deductible donations can be made by clicking on the yellow button on the right side of our blog. We are currently unable to get updates from Project Hopeful when donations are made. We are so sorry that we are unable to directly thank people as they donate.....but please know that we are so utterly grateful for every dollar that comes in. We have been humbled by those desiring to help get Will home, both through donations and prayer support! You are the very hands and feet of Jesus and are a very real part of providing for him a real future and giving him hope!

Adoption is such an opportunity for God to refine our hearts. Some days it can be very painful and overwhelming. How the enemy would love for us to believe that it is just too much to enter in to the stories of these hurting children that have been hidden away from the rest of the world. Right now I know that the tactic is to get me to feel hopeless because of the wait that lies ahead. Thinking of our Will as he lays there, missing Susanna, confused, alone. Not knowing how long the governmental delays will be. I fight the desire to question how God can allow it to take SO long. Each day I must choose to rest in truth and to recognize the battle vs. getting swept away in the facade that it doesn't exist. That is such a dangerous place to be.....forgetting that there is an enemy who is actively opposing the redemption of these children. If we forget then the temptation is to give up......to let someone else take care of it.....to deceive ourselves that the doors that we have to fight to open are God's way of telling us to move on. I read this quote a couple of weeks ago on one of my discouraged days. It shook me right out of my focus on self and got it back where it belonged.....how we need to encourage each other to remember this!!!

“When you say YES to adoption, you are saying YES to enter the suffering of the orphan, and that suffering includes WAITING FOR YOU TO GET TO THEM. I promise you, their suffering is worse than yours. We say YES to the tears, YES to the longing, YES to the maddening process, YES to the money, YES to hope, YES to the screaming frustration of it all, YES to going the distance through every unforeseen discouragement and delay. Do not imagine that something outside of “your perfect plan” means you heard God wrong. There is NO perfect adoption. EVERY adoption has snags. We Americans invented the “show me a sign” or “this is a sign” or “this must mean God is closing a door” or “God must not be in this because it is hard,” but all that is garbage. You know what’s hard? Being an orphan. They need us to be champions and heroes for them, fighting like hell to get them home. So we will. We may cry and rage and scream and wail in the process, but get them home we will.”
–Jen Hatmaker

Our Will

As much as we are grieving Susanna we can't imagine what it is like for our Will. He must be so sad and confused. Deep in sadness over our girl we are also fueled by a desire to get him home as quickly as possible. 

 We are thoroughly looking forward to  meeting our son and getting to know his personality! My heart is heavy at the thought of having to walk into that orphanage knowing that Susanna won't be there, but I am finding an excitement growing in my heart as I think about meeting this handsome boy! God will undoubtedly give us His grace to face what now seems overwhelming.

I sent off our I800a to our home study agency yesterday. That means that it should arrive in Texas in about a week and then we hope to have approval in the next 4-6 weeks. This approval means that we have our government's go ahead to pursue our adoption of Will. Once we have that in our hands our dossier goes to Will's government for their approval. Once we receive THAT we will be scheduled for our first visit. I am hoping that this will happen by September or October. Emphasis on "hoping". 

I have had several people ask us how they can give to our adoption fund. It is an unavoidable truth that international adoption is very expensive. Since we weren't making plans to adopt when Susanna found us we are starting from scratch. We have complete confidence that God will provide all we need and we are working hard on our end to raise the necessary funds. We are using Go Fund Me and there is a button on our blog. It is an easy site to use but it is not tax deductible. We are in the process of signing on with Project Hopeful and will add that button to our blog soon. Donations made to them on our behalf are tax deductible. 

Keith and I have been working for several days....trying to create a video that would express our heart around Susanna's story. I would love to share it with you. During the first couple of days, when in our sadness I wasn't sure how we could move forward, I had several people remind me that Susanna had loved Will and that they were sure it would be her desire for him to come home to us. We agree. We consider our adoption of Will as Susanna's last act of love. What an amazing girl. What an amazing story!

Our Lilly

 Susanna's blond hair and beautiful blue eyes are very atypical of her birth country. 

When I first spoke to the wonderful Nina at our adoption agency she thought that I would be surprised because most of the children born in this country have dark hair and dark brown eyes. But I wasn't surprised.......and the reason it didn't surprise me is  because we've already brought home a blond haired blue eyed beauty from the same country that Susanna was born in! 

Our sweet Lilly Caroline!

Now....hair and eye color don't mean a thing to us! I have given birth to dark haired dark eyed beauties and we have our sweet Noah! 

I just love that God has made our family full of individual and unique personalities and beauty! 

I love how similar Lilly and Susanna look. True sisters. I know that Lilly would have loved Susanna! I know that because Lilly has a heart as big as Texas! She is smiling almost every minute of the day and when we brought Noah home she embraced him with open arms. 

Our Lilly also has spina bifida and she is a marvel! She takes life head on...there is nothing she can't do! She swam like a fish from the moment she took her first swim in a pool. She rides her bike. She loves to help and is always asking what she can do. 

Yesterday we went for our first wheelchair appointment and it was as though she had used one all of her life. She was in and out of doors and turning circles in no time!  I was so proud of her! She has every "reason" in the world to be angry, sad, and miserable. 

But she chooses joy. She is brave, resilient, and one of my heroes. She is teaching me every day that I can choose how I want to face life. She is teaching me to choose joy.

 This is why we will keep going. Why we won't stop sharing Susanna's story. Why we will keep risking our hearts to love the Lilly's and Susanna's. It is SO worth it! 

They are SO worth it!

Death Has Lost.....and Love Has Won!

As we grieve our sweet Susanna I am held up by the truth

 that when my Jesus rose from the dead He defeated the power of death

 FOREVER!! 

While in our sadness we still feel its sting, 

death no longer has the final word!

Susanna is safe with Jesus.

This song has ministered to me in a mighty way over the past few days.

I pray that it does the same for you!

Heartbroken

It is with very heavy hearts that we share with you the news that our sweet Susanna is now with Jesus.

We are heartbroken over the loss of our sweet girl. Words cannot describe how I longed to rock her in my arms, to cover her with a blanket and whisper to her that she was loved, she was home, and she was finally safe. How we longed to show her the world outside the walls of the crib that she had lived in 24 hours a day for 6 years.

My sweet husband's deepest fear is that she was alone and he desperately hopes that she was not afraid. 

My friends, this is not how things should be! Children should not die needless deaths because they don't receive the right medical care. Sweet little girls should not live their lives without ever feeling the sun on their skin. Boys and girls should not be locked away because of needs that are considered "special". We are ALL fearfully and wonderfully made! 

In Jesus' name and for the sake of sweet Susanna there is something that we ALL can do to change this! 

Adopt.

Give to someone who is adopting.

Support someone who is in the process of adopting and continue to support them once they bring their children home.

Advocate for children in desperate need.

Adopt. Give. Support. Advocate.

The numbers are overwhelming. BUT if we all were to take the responsibility of caring for just ONE, then they would all be fed, clothed, given necessary medical care, and know they are valued and loved. Most importantly, they would have the opportunity to learn of the One True Hope. That they have a forever home with their Father in heaven who deeply loves them and longs for us to act on their behalf!

Sweet Susanna girl, we love you. We are so grateful that while we grieve the loss of our life with you, we can do so with hope, knowing that we WILL see you again! For now you are truly home, you are utterly safe, and you are so very completely loved!

Where Have I Been???

When I look at the date of my last blog entry I can't believe it has been weeks!! What has been going on with our efforts to get Susanna and Will home as soon as humanly possible???

We are happy to announce that our home study is pretty much completed. We are in final checking and double checking phases. In one of those double checks it was discovered that we were in need of two more background clearances. We got that news this morning and initially I panicked....these clearances can take weeks and we are so anxious to get Susanna out of that crib and to the care that she so desperately needs! The good news is that if this hadn't been caught before we sent our file on to immigration services then they would surely have noticed it and kicked it back out to us. That could have cost us weeks vs what I hope will instead be days.

God has been so faithful along the way. I had the sense when we started down this road that there would be spiritual battles to be fought.....and in ways that we hadn't experienced in our previous adoptions. We have seen very stressful things happen in our daily lives, and there has been many invitations to fear about the future......but God has continued to pave the way in the adoption process. There are days when I spend hours on paperwork and appointments, but He has been faithful to lead us to helpful people and to apply grace to areas in our process that could easily have become road blocks to moving forward. For that we are so grateful!! May He impress it on the hearts of the people doing our background checks to complete them quickly!! We are ready to be one big step closer to these sweet children!!

We would be so grateful for continued prayers for doors to open to bring Susanna and Will home quickly. We will need to do some fundraising for this adoption, so prayers also for wisdom to choose the right things that will be fruitful as we trust in God's provision!  I love them more each day and I pray that the story God is telling in all of our lives will bring great glory to Him! 

Getting Closer........

We are getting closer! Our home study is nearly completed! After a big push last week, which included having our home visit, we have provided all of the necessary information to our social worker. Now we wait for our FBI background clearance to arrive and our file can go on to immigration for approval. We are in the ballpark for that to happen soon........we are hearing that the background clearances are taking about 4 weeks, and we will hit the four week mark this Thursday. Once our file gets to immigration we will likely be looking at a 6 week wait for approval.

We were at the spina bifida clinic for Lilly's annual appointment today. We got to meet with her neurosurgeon and I told her about Susanna. She struggled a bit to believe that Susanna has gone 6 years without having closure surgery, but we assured her that indeed she has waited that long! She said that she would be able to do the surgery once Susanna gets home..... that was great news, because I think a part of me was afraid that it would be too late. She is also willing to look over her information and help us create a plan to get her home safely. After reviewing her medical file again there is much going on with our sweet girl. It is hard to think of having to wait another 8-10 months to get her home and start helping her heal. We are hoping that our doctor will provide us with a letter to include with our immigration paperwork that may help speed up our process. It would be wonderful if the agent assigned to our case could see how critical it is that we get her home soon in order to address her hydrocephalus and complete her closure surgery........and that they would be willing to speed up our approval process.

I love the giggle!

Would you pray with us that we get our background clearance soon and that we are able to expedite our immigration paperwork? That God would move mountains to get Susanna and Will home and that all will be accomplished in His perfect timing......